Recommended Books for Montessori School Parents
Paula Lillard Preschlack and Nalisa Ward • June 8, 2016

Recommended Books for Montessori Parents


Several people have asked us to suggest a few great books for Montessori school parents and educators. Here is a list of books, both new and old, that we highly recommend adding to your personal library. This is a list of the “best of the best,” as far as we know, giving you the most valuable information in writing styles that we found to be informative, enjoyable and engaging. Most of these books can be purchased at your favorite local book store, such as Lake Forest Book Store or online via the links provided. Enjoy! 


The Gift of Failure

By Jessica Lahey
Harper Collins, 2015


I love this book! I have read it through twice and continue to underline and refer to sections, as both an educator and a parent of emerging teens. Jessica Lahey has a great perspective as an experienced and successful middle school teacher, but also as a humble parent. This book fits well with the philosophy of a good Montessori school; it is a great testament to the idea that certain “truths” can be unearthed if one looks carefully enough. –PP


Reclaiming Conversation

By Sherry Turkle
Penguin Press, 2015


The Directors and I went to hear Sherry Turkle speak at Lake Forest College this past fall, and her book quickly became a favorite. This book explores: “Our passion for technology tempts us away from face to face conversation, but conversation is a cornerstone for empathy as well as democracy; it sustains the best in education and in business it is good for the bottom line.” From a Montessori School, to the family dinner table, to the college classroom, Turkle explores the importance for face-to-face conversation through anecdotes, research results and conversations with her students and patients. Finally, in a positive, encouraging manner, she tells us what we can do in our families, friendships and businesses to keep ourselves healthy and happy in this increasingly digital world. –PP


Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

By Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.
Ballantine Books, 2006


This is a book that has really stayed with me. Carol Dweck explores the concept of what it means to have a fixed or growth mindset and what the life repercussions are for having one or the other. I keep reflecting on it as a parent – it has shaped how I perceive and speak to my children. I keep asking myself if I am approaching situations with a fixed mindset or one of growth that includes practice and persistence. Carol Dweck does a wonderful job of presenting solutions and practical applications in the book. I don’t say this lightly when I say that this book can change your life, and subsequently those around you! -NW


The Blessing of a Skinned Knee

By Wendy Mogel
Scribner, 2001


The Directors at our Montessori school read and discussed ‘The Blessing of a Skinned Knee’ this past winter, and we agreed that it is just as relevant today as it was 15 years ago. It is called, “A practical and refreshing antidote to anxious over-parenting.” Mogel combines her experiences as a parent, a psychologist, and as a Rabbi, to guide parents to use their moral values and common sense in raising their children. We found this book insightful, thought-provoking and inspiring. –PP


The Big Disconnect

By Catherine Steiner-Adair
HarperCollins, 2013


In thinking about the perils of getting our 14-year old son launched into high school with his first laptop computer, I re-visited this excellent book just this past weekend. Steiner-Adair gives great information and excellent advice for parents of infants - all the way through adolescence. We need to be informed and confident to make the best decisions about technology in our children’s lives. Although I personally, as an educator who works with young children, might go a step farther and discourage parents from exposing their children to any technology at all, Steiner-Adair certainly makes the case for being very cautious. I appreciate her expertise, her many stories, and her references to sound research. –PP


How to Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen So Kids will Talk

By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
HarperCollins, 2005


This is a great book. With cartoons and humor, Faber and Mazlish refresh the approach to everyday parenting struggles. They teach us how to really listen and become better communicators with our children, so that they can learn to communicate well too. I recommend reading it before you stumble into those first, truly difficult conversations with your children. It is never to early or too late to get this book on your nightstand!
(These authors wrote another specifically for parenting teens, as well, which is also very good). –PP


What Happy People Know

By Dan Baker
Rodale, 2003


This is an all-time favorite of Paula Lillard’s, and ours as well. Dan Baker was at the beginning of the positive psychology movement, proposing that we lead with our strengths. Baker also explains that all emotions basically stem from either love, or fear. This wonderful book is alive with fascinating anecdotes from Baker’s many years as a psychiatrist. I think it is safe to say that the approach at a Montessori school is based, in large part, on the kind of positive psychology explained in this book. –PP


The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

By Charles Duhigg
Random House, 2012/14


This is such a fun book to read, and again, I must say I re-read all my underlined sections several time s a year. Through fascinating true stories about business and life, Duhigg shows us the research and the reasons behind our habitual behaviors. Most importantly, he explains clearly how we can change our habits or start new ones. Discovering this book made a lasting impact in my life –I think you will get a lot out of it too! -PP


The Road to Character

By David Brooks


I am listening to this book in my car as I drive my children and run and run errands. I am only at the beginning, but it is a compelling book. It begins with the premise of the differences between our “eulogy virtues” (our inner roadmap that gives our life purpose), and “resume virtues” (traits that lead to external success). David brooks writes: “The essential drama of life is the drama to construct character, which is an engraved set of disciplined habits, a settled disposition to do good”. He tells stories of the world’s greatest thinkers and inspiring leaders, and looks at how they have built strong inner character through their struggles and experiences. When my family heads out of town on a road trip to visit colleges, my son and I will listen to this inspiring book together. –NW


The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your Calling

By Stephen Cope
Bantam Books, 2012


This is a really inspiring book about creativity, finding your personal or professional calling, and aligning the two. You will learn a lot about the Bhagavad Gita- a renowned Hindu allegory- and the lives of some famous people- (among them: Walt Whitman, Jane Goodall, Harriet Tubman, and Ludwig Von Beethoven). If you are looking for some inner guidance for finding your calling in life, or for rekindling a creative interest, this is a good summer read for anyone. -PP


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A teacher and Montessori student at Forest Bluff School in Lake Bluff, IL, shake hands.

Montessori and Accountability: Developing a Moral Compass

By Alice Davidson with contributions by Margaret J. Kelley • February 25, 2026
In Montessori education, we view each child as inherently capable of developing a strong sense of right and wrong. A child’s moral compass is not something we impose upon them—it is something that grows within, guided by experiences, reflection, and consistent modeling from the adults in their lives. For that moral sense to take root, children must be allowed to experience accountability for their actions. When parents shield their children from consequences or defend behavior they know is wrong, they unintentionally undermine that process, creating confusion and instability in the child’s understanding of truth, fairness, and responsibility. Many parents defend their children out of love and protectiveness. They wish to spare their child from discomfort, embarrassment, or the feeling of failure. Yet this kind of protection, though well-intentioned, teaches the opposite of what true love demands. One of the tenets of Montessori is to put children in contact with the real world in age-appropriate ways, trusting that they have the inner capabilities to grow and adapt when they have real experiences. When parents constantly justify, minimize, or excuse poor behavior, a child misses an opportunity for feedback; they learn that honesty is flexible and that integrity can be negotiated. This erodes their moral foundation and leaves them uncertain about what is right—not because they cannot feel it, but because the adults they trust most are contradicting that inner voice. In Montessori, children learn to do work and make decisions based on intrinsic, not extrinsic motivation. We trust that they have goodness inside of them, and while they absolutely need guardrails and guidelines, we can best serve them by teaching them to distinguish between their internal drives, and to take action in accordance with their conscience. Children are perceptive. They often know when they have done something wrong—whether they spoke unkindly, acted selfishly, or disrespected another. When their parents immediately defend them or blame others, the child experiences an internal conflict. On one hand, their conscience tells them they made a mistake; on the other, the parent’s response tells them they are in the right. Over time, this mismatch between inner truth and external validation creates confusion. The child begins to question their own moral instincts and may even learn to ignore the pangs of conscience altogether, relying instead on external approval to define what is acceptable. This is one of the greatest harms of over-defending a child: it separates them from their natural moral compass. When children are consistently told they are right—even when they know they are not—they start to equate love with being defended rather than being guided. They may learn that relationships are maintained through justification and blame-shifting instead of honesty and repair. Later in life, these patterns can manifest as difficulty accepting feedback, resistance to authority, or an inability to take responsibility in personal and professional relationships. In Montessori classrooms, we see accountability as a cornerstone of growth. When a child makes a mistake—perhaps they take another’s materials without asking or speak rudely to a classmate—we respond not with shame, but with calm guidance. We help the child reflect: What happened? How did this affect others? What can you do to make it right? This process nurtures empathy and clarity. It helps children see that they can correct their mistakes, that doing wrong does not make them bad, and that making amends restores both harmony and self-respect. Accepting that your child can be wrong is not a sign of parental failure—it is a sign of courage and wisdom. When you model accountability yourself, your child learns that truth is not something to be feared. They see that mistakes are part of being human, and that integrity means facing them with grace. Ultimately, allowing your child to experience and accept the consequences of their behavior builds confidence, empathy, and moral clarity. Shielding them from accountability may protect their feelings in the short term, but it confuses their conscience and weakens their inner sense of right and wrong. By guiding them lovingly toward truth and responsibility, you empower them to grow into kind, honest, and self-aware individuals—qualities that form the true foundation of a moral life.
A Montessori student at Forest Bluff School uses grammar symbols and color-coded tiles

Grammar the Montessori Way

By Margaret J. Kelley • January 24, 2026
Discover how Forest Bluff School on Chicago's North Shore uses Montessori symbols to teach grammar, making language arts engaging for Primary and Elementary students.