Help Me to Help Myself: Part 2 of 3
Paula Polk Lillard • March 1, 2016

How then can parents help their children under the age of three to build the foundation for eventual independence? A parent’s first response is often to try and recreate the Young Children’s Community (for 18 month to 3 year olds) in the home. However, any parent attempting to do so soon finds that this task is neither possible nor necessary. Instead, we ask parents to bring their child to Forest Bluff at 18 months where we have created an environment that is meeting just the needs of these little ones. We do indeed suggest some ways for supporting your child’s independence at home. It is key, however, that you not interpret such suggestions as instructions. As parents, we tend to hear them in this way because we are conscientious about our children and also because of our own educational backgrounds where teachers consistently told us what to do, and when.


Perhaps – with our first children especially – we will have the opportunity in their early years to let them scrub a potato for dinner and put their own clothes in a hamper, but real independence is not going to come primarily from specific activities. It is going to come from a place that you may not have considered before. It is going to come from your child’s experience of you: of your relationship together. We have to begin with who we are, our spiritual selves. The child before us is a spiritual being; we have to address and relate to him or her with the human spirit within us.


Motherhood with its forced slow down in activities during pregnancy, nursing and the body’s recovery period, presents the perfect opportunity to reflect on our inner selves and our journey through life to date, our hopes and dreams for the future, our values and those achievements in life that will have the most meaning for us when our life’s journey is complete. Such gains in our inner lives are hard work but they will be with us for the lifetime of our parenting and reap benefits for all whom we touch in every area of our lives.


Relating to our children with our whole selves requires time: time to just be with them (no phone in sight or earshot) for a slow paced walk, sitting in the leaves, looking at clouds, reading a book, being a calm presence and enjoying life with them: above all, taking the time to just observe our children, not in a passive way but in an active one. If we make an effort to observe and think through each situation in family life and what might make this time of day go more smoothly, we will be rewarded with a more joyful and peaceful day, both for ourselves and our children.

Perhaps dinner could be prepared after lunch, before a quiet time with all the family in their rooms for a rest. Next, everyone could go outside to play and be refreshed just by being in nature, the human being’s original and most natural environment. Even on the coldest days, children and mothers can bundle up and get out in the fresh air, even if only for a short time. In the fall when the time change brings darkness an hour earlier, it might make sense to come in from outdoors and start the children’s baths at 4:00 or 4:30. Children would then be in their pajamas before dinner at 5:00 or 5:30. They could be in their beds for their individual story time with you just afterwards, thereby eliminating any opportunity to get overstimulated and overtired before going to sleep.


As you consider ways of arranging your daily schedule to meet the needs of your children in this modern world, I want to mention a major obstacle for all of us. It has to do with being fully present for each other – especially our children. We know that screens, cell phones, computers and much modern technology distract us from face to face contact with each other. We may not be aware, however, that new studies are suggesting that these technological devices can even make it difficult to be comfortable and relaxed after we are no longer using them. Thus they interfere with our enjoyment and opportunity for reflective thinking when we do set aside uninterrupted time for calm and solitude. (See: Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry Turkle, PhD).


Finally, we can deepen intimate and warm relationships with our children by planning an environment in our homes that fosters the intellectual lives of our children and of ourselves. Montessori teacher and author, John Snyder in his book, Tending the Light, describes the Montessori environment at home (as at school) as “free, peaceful, rich intellectually.” Montessori gave the details of this Prepared Environment at school for children from early childhood through age twelve. Therefore, Montessori schools throughout the globe are familiar to any child transferring from one to another. Obviously, she could not give details for our varied and unique home environments. However, the principles behind establishing a home environment that is “free, peaceful, rich intellectually” are similar.

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Forest Bluff School graduates perform a song onstage at their high school talent show.

Montessori Graduates Shine in High School Talent Show

By Margaret J. Kelley • May 19, 2025
I attended the Lake Forest High School Talent Show for the first time in February (2025). I’d been interested in it for years—watching talented young people with the courage to perform before a crowd is one of my favorite things to do. But it wasn’t until this year, when a friend with a child in the talent show actually procured tickets for me that I finally got around to going. The show runs three nights in a row, and we attended the second night. I brought my own ten-year-old daughter who has a special interest in singing and performing with me. As we settled into our seats and watched the show begin to unfold, I was struck by three things, in quick succession. First was the positive, welcoming community that made up Lake Forest High School (LFHS). There were cheerful parents working the concession stand and selling raffle tickets. There were enthusiastic teenagers, gathering in groups and excitedly finding their seats. Second was the immense array of talent already apparent just a few acts in—The MC’s who entertained the audience with skits and banter between performances, the pit band who played a variety of songs during downtime, the entertaining short videos that interspersed the live performances, and, of course, the extraordinary talent of the participants themselves. We saw various bands, a pianist (“And hockey player!”, more than one person pointed out to me) whose fingers flew over the keys, two girls who tap danced across the stage to Hamilton, a young woman who belted out an opera song that almost took the roof off the school, and many other incredible feats of talent and courage. Third, and most personal for me, were the Montessori alumni I saw that night. They were scattered throughout the crowd, supporting their peers. I saw the dark french braid of a sophomore who I’d known in the Young Children’s Community at Forest Bluff School. I noticed the wide smile of one of the most cheerful Primary students I’d ever known, and I overheard the happy laughter of a confident sophomore who’d graduated from eighth grade and was now surrounded by new friends. But the Montessori alumni who struck me the most that night were the Forest Bluff graduates I saw on the stage, participating in the talent show itself. There were three young women—a sophomore assisting with the live production, a junior who performed as a drummer in two acts and the pit band, and a senior who performed in several acts and served as the stage director for the entire production. These students are all markedly different in their temperaments and talents, and were supporting the show in vastly different ways, but they were all integral to the performance. They were all contributing to the experience for hundreds of students, parents, and community members, sharing their work ethic, skills, and inborn strengths. Two questions began to form as I watched them work together to create this two and a half hour feat—How did Montessori play a part in what these students were able to do tonight? And—How was Montessori able to serve these different young women in ways that allowed them to find their roles in the same shared experience? Fortunately for me (and for you!)I know all three girls personally. I reached out to them individually and asked them if (in exchange for a coffee or tea of their choice) they’d be willing to sit down with me to tell me more about what they did for the show, what the experience was like for them, and what role Montessori had played in preparing them for this work. They all responded quickly and cheerfully—happy to discuss their experiences with the LFHS talent show and their Montessori education. 
Two adolescents canoe down a river with trees in the background

Montessori Adolescent Program FAQs

By Abbey Dickson & John Dickson • April 23, 2025
At Forest Bluff School, the Secondary Level is a two-year program for adolescents, in which they continue their self-formation through more rigorous academic study as well experiential learning that includes service and wilderness trips. The Secondary Level has all the hallmarks of a Montessori adolescent program, with a focus on independence, responsibility, self-directed learning, community and collaboration, and practical life skills.