A New Resource for Parents and Educators: “Montessori from the Start” Discussion Guide
June 12, 2019

Education Begins at Birth


Dr. Maria Montessori, a trained physician who specialized in pediatrics and psychiatry before establishing her own educational philosophy and approach, recognized that tremendous brain, motor, and personality development occur during the first three years of a child’s life. These observations, once considered revolutionary, are now widely accepted among early childhood professionals and researchers.


Given her understanding of the earliest years of human development—in which the child, from the moment he is born, uses all his senses for the important work of constructing his own personality and intellect—Montessori believed that education begins at birth. Accordingly, she emphasized the importance of preparing the home environment and caring for the youngest of children in a way that supports their intrinsic drive to learn and need for independence. 


Montessori from the Start


A little girl is sitting on the grass playing with leaves

At Forest Bluff School, we offer Montessori parenting classes about Dr. Montessori’s theories and her recommendations for parents of very young children. In each session we discuss ideas and offer practical suggestions to help parents in meeting their children’s needs for: independence in self-care, coordinated movement of the whole body, language acquisition, and the gradual development of a self-controlled will. The inspiration and guiding principles for these parenting classes come from Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three, coauthored by Forest Bluff School co-founders Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen.


Montessori from the Start was written to be a resource for parents wondering how they can best support the development of their babies and young children within a Montessori framework. In explaining how the Montessori approach of hands-on learning and self-discovery relates to babies and young children, the authors refer to Dr. Montessori’s suggestions for raising infants and the materials she created for the care and comfort of babies. Since its first publication in 2003, parents and caregivers have turned to Montessori from the Start when seeking advice on feeding, sleeping, toilet training, and more.


The Discussion Guide


To further support parents and schools who wish to engage in deeper conversation about the topics presented in the book, there is now a Montessori from the Start Discussion Guide, with thought-provoking questions to accompany each chapter. We encourage parents and educators to download the Discussion Guide and use it for both individual reflection and small group discussion. At Forest Bluff School, we gather with parents in guided conversations throughout the school year. The feedback we most often receive from parents is how reassuring and helpful it is for them to share with each other their parenting challenges and successes.


When leading a small group discussion about Montessori from the Start, we recommend focusing on one particular topic or chapter that can be explored in depth, such as preparing the home environment or the child’s need for real-world sensorial experiences and objects. The questions for each chapter begin with a pertinent quote from the book, which can be used as a springboard for conversation. For example, in the chapter titled “Discovering the World” the authors state:


It is important now to take time to think about the organization of the home… Does it make sense? Is it ordered, simple, and functional? Is it beautiful? We want the baby to discover an orderly environment and thereby incorporate this order within her own mind (p. 47).


Questions to accompany this quote are:


What are the areas of your own home where it is the most challenging to create order? Are there areas that are naturally organized? What are ways you have found that make it easier to have an orderly home?


 The above quote and accompanying questions could themselves inspire an hour-long discussion about how to best organize a home for the needs of the young child. Once parents get talking and sharing ideas, the discussion may take on a life of its own. We suggest introducing new questions and quotes on an as-needed basis, to guide the discussion back to the topic at hand, rather than trying to “get through” a predetermined number of discussion questions.


In addition to providing context for the questions, the selected quotes are helpful for parents who may not have read the book in its entirety. At Forest Bluff School, we believe it is important to invite parents to participate in book discussions even if they have not yet had an opportunity to read the book. The Montessori from the Start Discussion Guide was written such that it can be used regardless of whether or not someone has read the book, as many of the questions require self-reflection and thinking about one’s own child. For example, in making the point that the youngest of children need experiences with the real world—rather than screens and fantastical realms—the authors state:

A woman is helping a baby walk with a wooden walker.

This is the time [12-18 months] to begin the habit of a daily walk with your child. This walk should be a meandering one, one that follows the child’s mission, not the adult’s. The child stops to inspect everything… In our accomplishment-oriented lives, we lose sight of the joy and beauty of living in the moment and of savoring the details of life (p. 85).


 The accompanying questions are ones that any parent can ponder:


When have you had the experience of slowing your own life to your child’s pace? What did you notice about the world during these times? How did you feel? How did your child respond to this period of time that was adjusted to her own pace?


Whether you are an educator looking to engage parents of young children in conversation about Montessori-based parenting principles or an expectant parent wondering how you can prepare your home for your newborn, the Montessori from the Start Discussion Guide can serve as a useful tool for reflection and inspiration. Given what we now know about early childhood brain development, it is clear that Dr. Montessori was right in her assertion that the youngest of children are doing the critical work of constructing their intellect and personality from the moment they are born. By thinking about and sharing ideas about parenting from a Montessori perspective, parents can feel more confident about their choices when deciding how to best support their child’s early development.


PDF of Montessori from the Start Discussion Guide


PDF of Montessori from the Start Abridged Discussion Guide


PDF of Montessori Today Discussion Guide


A young child outside on a sunny day using a watering can to water potted herbs and flowers

How to Live in an Uncertain World: Optimism Through Montessori

By Margaret J. Kelley • April 20, 2026
Forest Bluff School in Lake Bluff, IL, explores how the Montessori philosophy helps families trade "crippling empathy" and anxiety for a productive, grounded optimism.
A teacher and Montessori student at Forest Bluff School in Lake Bluff, IL, shake hands.

Montessori and Accountability: Developing a Moral Compass

By Alice Davidson with contributions by Margaret J. Kelley • February 25, 2026
In Montessori education, we view each child as inherently capable of developing a strong sense of right and wrong. A child’s moral compass is not something we impose upon them—it is something that grows within, guided by experiences, reflection, and consistent modeling from the adults in their lives. For that moral sense to take root, children must be allowed to experience accountability for their actions. When parents shield their children from consequences or defend behavior they know is wrong, they unintentionally undermine that process, creating confusion and instability in the child’s understanding of truth, fairness, and responsibility. Many parents defend their children out of love and protectiveness. They wish to spare their child from discomfort, embarrassment, or the feeling of failure. Yet this kind of protection, though well-intentioned, teaches the opposite of what true love demands. One of the tenets of Montessori is to put children in contact with the real world in age-appropriate ways, trusting that they have the inner capabilities to grow and adapt when they have real experiences. When parents constantly justify, minimize, or excuse poor behavior, a child misses an opportunity for feedback; they learn that honesty is flexible and that integrity can be negotiated. This erodes their moral foundation and leaves them uncertain about what is right—not because they cannot feel it, but because the adults they trust most are contradicting that inner voice. In Montessori, children learn to do work and make decisions based on intrinsic, not extrinsic motivation. We trust that they have goodness inside of them, and while they absolutely need guardrails and guidelines, we can best serve them by teaching them to distinguish between their internal drives, and to take action in accordance with their conscience. Children are perceptive. They often know when they have done something wrong—whether they spoke unkindly, acted selfishly, or disrespected another. When their parents immediately defend them or blame others, the child experiences an internal conflict. On one hand, their conscience tells them they made a mistake; on the other, the parent’s response tells them they are in the right. Over time, this mismatch between inner truth and external validation creates confusion. The child begins to question their own moral instincts and may even learn to ignore the pangs of conscience altogether, relying instead on external approval to define what is acceptable. This is one of the greatest harms of over-defending a child: it separates them from their natural moral compass. When children are consistently told they are right—even when they know they are not—they start to equate love with being defended rather than being guided. They may learn that relationships are maintained through justification and blame-shifting instead of honesty and repair. Later in life, these patterns can manifest as difficulty accepting feedback, resistance to authority, or an inability to take responsibility in personal and professional relationships. In Montessori classrooms, we see accountability as a cornerstone of growth. When a child makes a mistake—perhaps they take another’s materials without asking or speak rudely to a classmate—we respond not with shame, but with calm guidance. We help the child reflect: What happened? How did this affect others? What can you do to make it right? This process nurtures empathy and clarity. It helps children see that they can correct their mistakes, that doing wrong does not make them bad, and that making amends restores both harmony and self-respect. Accepting that your child can be wrong is not a sign of parental failure—it is a sign of courage and wisdom. When you model accountability yourself, your child learns that truth is not something to be feared. They see that mistakes are part of being human, and that integrity means facing them with grace. Ultimately, allowing your child to experience and accept the consequences of their behavior builds confidence, empathy, and moral clarity. Shielding them from accountability may protect their feelings in the short term, but it confuses their conscience and weakens their inner sense of right and wrong. By guiding them lovingly toward truth and responsibility, you empower them to grow into kind, honest, and self-aware individuals—qualities that form the true foundation of a moral life.